


PAST

by crankybluebean



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Comfort/Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, M/M, Past Abuse, Tythan, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-03
Updated: 2017-03-03
Packaged: 2018-09-28 03:59:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10070441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crankybluebean/pseuds/crankybluebean
Summary: Ethan has a past and he shares it with Tyler.(All abuse is mentions of past abuse there is none happening now.)





	

**Author's Note:**

> I’d recommend listening to Little Talks by Of Monsters And Men while reading this. It’s based loosely off of that. Oh, and my good friend Cheiss he told me to base a fic off a song, this was the outcome. I’m not sorry. Thanks Cheiss.

Ethan rolled over and looked at the blinding red numbers on the alarm clock. **1:35**. He’d need to get up soon and record for the day. Lately, he hadn’t wanted to do anything. He’d prerecorded a lot of videos, but he was going to run out after tomorrow. Moreover, he’d been eating less and trying to get out of meetings earlier. Everyone knew something was up.

“Hey, Eth,” Tyler said, as he walked into their shared room. Ethan just groaned.

“Wanna go somewhere today? We can just go to the park and sit on the bench?” Tyler asked very hopeful, it was a last ditch effort really.

“No, Ty. I need to record at least a few videos.” He didn’t sound as excited, like himself. 

Ethan got up and walked out the room to the bathroom. Tyler watched him grab a glass of water from the kitchen. He walked off and sat at the table and stared mindlessly. Tyler walked back into the bedroom grabbing Ethan some fresh boxers and sweats and the Deadpool shirt, knowing if he didn’t do it, he wasn’t changing today. He went and ran a bath, knowing it would take coaxing to get Ethan in here, but also knowing his boy would thank him later. It hurt seeing Ethan like this.

“Hey Eth, I ran a bath and got you some fresh sweats. I know you’ll feel a little better after.”

“Tyler, I’d really just like to get the videos done.”

“Please, Ethan. You need it.” Tyler begging made Ethan comply.

Later that night Tyler and Ethan were sitting on the couch watching t.v. when Tyler looked over at his blue boy.

 “Eth, wanna talk about what’s been going on lately?” Tyler tested the waters.

“Wha-What do you mean?”

“I’m not pushing you to talk about it, but I know there’s something there.” He pulled Ethan closer.

“It’s just. Something from my past, more like someone. I’m not ready tonight, but maybe soon.” He hugged into Tyler. “Thank you.”

“For what?” Tyler was confused. What had he done?

“For being here, not pushing or judging, just helping. I love you.”

“I love you, too, Eth,” Tyler said.

***

The next day Tyler woke up first, as usual. He rolled over and read the clock. **9:23** . He texted Mark and asked Mark if it was okay if they missed today off work, receiving a text almost immediately saying that ‘of course it was okay it’s the first day they’ve missed in forever’. Tyler walked into the kitchen and started to make breakfast, soon hearing footsteps. Looking at the clock in the kitchen, he saw it was only **9:45**.

 “Good morning, little blue.” he said as Ethan wrapped his arms around his waist from behind, kissing his shoulder.

“Good morning, Ty. It smells great.” He said as he went to sit down.

“How are you this morning?”

“I’m alright. I just,” Ethan paused, not sure how to continue. Tyler just looked at him, letting him know it was okay to continue if he wished.

“There’s an ex-girlfriend you don’t know about. She wasn’t exactly what you’d call perfect, or even nice, really. Basically, I can hear her and it’s not nice.”

“Well, when you think you can talk some more, I’ll be here. I miss our talks.”

Tyler finished making breakfast and they ate in a peaceful silence, with soft hand touches all morning. After breakfast, Tyler posed the same question he did yesterday, a little more hopeful. 

“That sounds lovely. Let's get dressed.” Ethan kissed Tyler’s cheek.

***

They sat on a blanket under a shaded tree, watching people walk their dogs and couples walk by.

“Hey Ty, can I tell you something?” Ethan said quietly.

“Anything you want, bluebird,” Tyler answered carefully, knowing where it was going.

“So, I told her some things. Namely that I was bisexual. She wasn’t as, uh, open to it, I guess.” Ethan took a break, feeling the lump in his throat form.

“You don’t have to continue,” Tyler started.

“No, I want to get this out. I just,” He stopped again. Tyler nodded, rubbing Ethan’s back. “At first it was horrible, she got better, but then she got,” he stopped and put his face in Tyler’s chest.

“Hey, you don’t have to.” Tyler held him close.

“I think that's all I can do right now.” He hugged close to Tyler.

“That’s fine. You don’t have to do more than you can or want to.” They made their way back home quietly, Ethan not letting go of Tyler.

***

Later that night Ethan and Tyler were cooking and dancing around the kitchen when Tyler saw it on Ethan’s face. He didn’t say anything, but he made sure he held Ethan a little closer when a slow song came on.

“Tyler,” Ethan mumbled, his head laid on Tyler’s chest.

“Hmm?”

“What she did, she was mean. In the beginning, she told me that it wasn’t real. That it couldn’t be, especially since I’d never even kissed a boy. I could only believe her because I hadn’t kissed a boy. What would make me bisexual? So, I dropped the topic. Later on, I brought it back up and she said it again. I fought her on it that time.” Ethan paused and Tyler felt him squeeze him, but he didn’t say anything, just stood there swaying and holding his boy. “I knew what I was feeling. I knew it was real. She backed off, for the time being.”

They continued to dance in silence for a while, Tyler just holding Ethan close. At one point, the timer for the chicken had timed out so they broke apart, Ethan setting up the table as Tyler made sure everything else was ready and making the plates. They sat at the table, eating quietly. After dinner, Ethan offered to do the dishes and Tyler went off to set up a movie in the living room.

Ethan joined Tyler in the living room and everything was fine until about 20 minutes into the movie. Ethan sat up, cross-legged on the couch and faced Tyler.

“What’s wrong Eth?” Tyler said as he placed his hand on Ethan’s thigh.

“I just thought I should tell you more.” He sighed.

“Only if you’re comfortable with it.”

“I am, I just need to put my thoughts together.” Ethan took a deep breath in before speaking, “Once I finally got her to accept my bisexuality, she took more attacks on me as a person. It was always about how I wasn’t tall enough or strong enough for girls, why would guys like me? They could find my frame in a girl why would they want me?”

Ethan took in a loud intake of air, and Tyler lifted his head to see he was crying. He pulled Ethan onto his lap and held him.

“She would make sure to remind me all the time that I wasn’t good enough for girls, why would I be good enough for boys? I don’t know why I stayed. She was just my grounding. I loved her. Then, she was moving, said she wanting to try long distance. As much as my heart was telling me yes, my brain and reason was telling me no, that was my way out. I told her no, I couldn’t do it. We broke up. She blamed it on me, said she was moving because of me. She needed to get away from someone as horrible and insecure as me. Of course, I believed her. I always believed her.”

Ethan finally stopped. He had practically rushed through as fast as he could, with still being understandable. He just held onto Tyler as if he were drowning and Tyler were his life support. Tyler just held Ethan. He didn’t want to speak. He didn’t understand how someone could do that to anyone. How someone could be so intentionally abusive to anyone. He just held Ethan like he was the last stuffed animal a mother let her child keep.

They stayed like that for what could have been hours. Tyler finally picking Ethan up and bringing him to the room. Laying down fully clothed on the bed, too scared to leave his boy, that he might disappear. They slowly fell asleep like that. Ethan’s body curled around Tyler, two heartbeats becoming one.

***

It’s been 3 days since Ethan confessed everything to Tyler. Nothing’s changed. Tyler’s still as protective as all hell. Well, not nothing. Ethan’s slowly becoming more like his bubbly self again. At least that's what Tyler thought. This morning they woke up to get ready for work and he could tell Ethan was off. He had gone all day not saying anything, as not to alert anyone else or upset Eth, but they were home and he couldn’t stand it.

Ethan barely ate at lunch. He fake laughed at all of Mark’s hideously dumb jokes that always kill him. He barely hugged Amy or Kathryn before leaving and didn’t even bat an eye at Chica when she nudged him all day. Tyler was done.

“Eth,” Tyler started as he settled onto the couch next to his bluebird. “What’s going on?” 

Ethan sighed, knowing he had to tell him. Not that he didn’t want to, he just didn’t think it was really the best thing to tell someone. ‘Oh yeah, you know that ex-girlfriend I told you about? Yeah, she fucked me up worse than you know. Sometimes, I can hear her in my head and it’s all I can do is think about it. It’s her voice on my insecurities. I relive my nightmares, sometimes.’ Ethan thought to himself.  
Tyler pulled Ethan close, and Ethan was confused for a second until he realized he had said all of that out loud. He hugged into Tyler. He wouldn’t imagine dealing with his past anywhere else than right here, in the arms of the man he loved.

**Author's Note:**

> I have some short little ficlets I wrote on my tumblr. You can find me [here](http://crankybluebean.tumblr.com/).


End file.
